Change How You Think

Enrich your mind by switching your perspective.

It starts with a deliberate intention to want a

different kind of result. Out with old and

unproductive habits, a desire for something

more, then action. First, your thinking,

change how you think, it begins there

REFLECTIONS AND MEDITATION

I love to ask myself questions, especially at the start of the week, which could also for most people be the end of the week. Sunday, is a great middle for me, that point between rounding up the last week’s activities, and getting ready for another week. Always, I make time to reflect, meditate and rediscover my WHY, WHAT and many other balancing questions. Today I will share a few enriching pearls on Reflection and Meditation. Use them for your reflections if you want, and share with others. When we learn, we ought to pass it on. Don’t forget to drop me a note, tell me what works for you and enrich me with other tips as well.

PEARL #83: WHEN THEIR MIND’S MADE UP, IT’S MADE UP

 

At some point you have to come to a realization that

you have done all you can and should to make things better.

This could be with a coworker, partner, friend, place,

peer group, or family. Any further efforts to be understood, no

matter that your intentions and heart are in the right place,

WON’T WORK. It’s up to their effort now, let it

go. Their failure to respond to your energy, and light, is not a

reflection of your failure. It’s their journey now, enjoy yours. 

MAH MEKOLLE

images from magicfromscratch.com, riverwalkbaptist.org

BE STILL AND DREAM

KNOW WHERE YOU ARE IN LIFE

As the year comes to an end, and people wonder where the year went to,

don’t get caught up in the mindless musings, wondering where the time went.

You know exactly where the time went, you know exactly what you were doing,

what you were saying, what you were thinking. You know. We all know.

The year might not have been the most productive for some,

for others, this was the most productive year of their life.

For some people, too many deaths in the family, disappointments,

too many dreams deferred, hearts broken. For some people, they

found true love, got engaged, and finally got pregnant. In some cases,

another failed fertility process.

No matter what side of the spectrum you find yourself today,

don’t let tomorrow set on broken dreams, sad feelings and no vision.

Don’t let the year-end without a game plan. Make a wish, anything,

dare to think that what you desire might actually come true. Dream

photo 1

MAH MEKOLLE

(image from linked.com, earthwearone.com

PEARL #82: ACCESS OR NO ACCESS? SET LIMITS

How many people have access to us on a daily basis? We might not think many do, especially when you look at the number of phone calls a day, or how many people you call on a personal level. However, in the new era of social media, changing work environment, and daily routines, there is a huge number of people with access to us.

We can’t control the number of people we get to bypass at work, in the subway, grocery store, school, or bus stop. We sometimes can’t control the friends of friends who view our social profiles, LinkedIn, Facebook, Google+ etc. We can however limit the access people who don’t need to be in our lives have to our personal space. Friends, relatives, acquaintances and neighbors can be and should be evaluated before we grant whatever kind of access to us, as well as how much of us we give.

We all are different and have different values, wants and needs. The one indication for me limiting one’s access to me is the positive or negative effect that person has in my life. Negativity, that is a good place to start. However, if this negativity is also coming from us, we must acknowledge that. Bearing a grudge is never the best answer. We can get closure and resolution in order to be at a quiet distant space

Life is precious, peace is key, even within a storm, peace is possible. The people around us are part of this process. Protect your space and that of the vulnerable ones in our care, those who can’t protect their world, like our kids, minors and seniors

MAH MEKOLLE

(Image from balboapark.org, mnn.com, gopixpic.com, freepik.com, delta.edu)

 

How often do you think about why you exist? Too complicated a thought or too simplistic a view? Truth is, whether we think about it consciously or unconsciously, we are in one way or another striving to make sense of our existence. It is hard to experience total peace until we feel a sense of oneness and purpose, familiarity with our core. For everyone, that peace and sense of center is different, no two are the same.

Find your core, the inner essence from which our greatest strength comes, and then use it to fuel this great journey called life.

(Images from stateimpact.npr.com)

MAH MEKOLLE

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PEARL # 79: GO FOR IT

GO FOR IT

The truth is, by the time you finish wondering, pacing around, and thinking about working the courage to do something good for yourself, it will still be the same time on the clock if you had moved. If it is 10 o’clock now where you are, in one hour the clock will strike 11 o’clock, whether you are sleeping, working, daydreaming, or afraid, it will still strike 11 o’clock in that hour. Make your choice, to move or not to move, go for it!

MAH MEKOLLE

image from wired.co.uk, titletrakk.com

 

EMPOWER YOUR MIND AND THAT OF YOUR CHILD

What have you planned for your family lately? On October 25th 2014, join me and more power house Speakers including but not limited to Dr Nicoline Ambe – our Keynote Speaker and Child Education specialist, Mr Darius Allen – millionaire/entrepreneur, Dr Dubi Sendze and other surprises, as we bring you a holistic approach to raising high achievers! Our children matter, the brothers, nieces, cousins in our care deserve the best. Bring them and yourselves for a few hours only, and empower your minds

Empowering Minds Series 1 flyer REGISTER NOW ONLINE

 

https://www.eventbrite.com/e/empowering-minds-series-1-tickets-13208082731?ref=enivtefor001&invite=Njg0NjI5Ny9BQkJZV1lOTkVAWUFIT08uQ09NLzA%3D&utm_source=eb_email&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=inviteformal001&utm_term=eventpage

Again, need I say more? Your child from the time they are born to university bound, needs all the help to deal with school, high performance in education, strategies for staying focused, direct help and counseling, dealing with peer pressure, bullying, self-esteem issues, training on making good decisions, planning for future careers. We will have a special guest speaker, young adult, sharing his real life experience on the perils of following the wrong crowd and how to bounce back. There is something for parents and children from 5 years old to high school. Come, take advantage, only $20 per person for a valuable experience worth more than that! Bring everyone, space limited. Register today!!!

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MAH MEKOLLE- (Life Coach, Motivational Speaker, Poet, Writer)

THE PERILS OF “UNFORGIVENESS”

FORGIVENESS

Forgiving seems like the hardest thing that we can do sometimes, however it’s one of the greatest gifts we can give ourselves.

Lack of forgiveness is an emotional state of mind that keeps us bound and chained to memories of the pain, hurt, anger, disappointment, hatred, and other negative emotions caused by someone. We can also have these feelings towards people, an institution, a whole race of people and much more.

When we hang on to the pain, anger, hurt, disappointment of things or people for days, months, years, decades, what are we really hanging on to? Is it that somehow we feel a strange sweetness knowing that at least we feel something? Do we derive pleasure after a while from knowing or telling ourselves that someone, something, people deserve to suffer and somehow we project this energy hoping they really do? Or are we actually hoping that these feelings will one day magically go away?

When we look within ourselves, and realize our difficulty to let go, even when we say we want to forgive, the truth is a lot of times, we are afraid. We are afraid that if we let go, what will we find, what will be left, the vulnerability of facing life without the familiar comfort of blaming someone of our problems, pain, misery or disappointments in life. We will be forced to face ourselves.

Maybe once we decide to look in the mirror, we see that the whole time it was ourself we had not forgiven. Not because we caused the pain, but sometimes we are angry that we allowed the hurt to happen, we were vulnerable. In some instances the people we hate, or hold grudges against don’t even know it, they are unaware that they have done something that did not match the reality of what we expected of them. Even further, sometimes these people don’t even know of these expectations! On the other hand, yes, people do hurt us deliberately and sometimes not deliberately, but as human beings we will fail at some point, and we will disappoint someone, no matter how hard we try not to.

The interesting aspect of lack of forgiveness I have seen, apart from the obvious instances where a true grievance or hurt exists, I have seen where a grudge is held by one group of people against another group for crimes commited decades or centuries before they were born. An inherited hatred, a learned feeling fed to us by stories, pictures, literature and continuous reminders of these events. These seeds are hard to erase, because we don’t even realize that’s what is going on.

How do we forgive? For me, the answer is simple. We decide to forgive, we make the decision and daily we try to manage that decision. Managing the decision to forgive is the challenging part based on how much we need to forgive, the degree of the hurt and the length of time we have held on to that grudge, or the reasons for hanging on to it. But no matter how hard, we should still recommit and keep deciding to forgive. Forgetting comes with time, don’t sweat it. Changing your perception through the desire to let something go, makes it easier that when we remember the hurt, it slowly looses its power to wound, then one day you realize, the power of the memories isn’t there anymore.

I have come to conclude for myself and dealing with instances of forgiving and not forgiving, that I erroneously interpreted “forgive and forget” to mean literally waiting on the moment I delete the memory or event. How frustrating when that is your expectation, and then when you realize you haven’t forgotten, the assumption is you havent forgiven right? So you judge yourself as unforgiving. Hm, no. One day I told myself, I am not unforgiving in this thing I needed to let go. Maybe I am expecting wrong. I truly had made the decision to let it go, or the various instances I have encountered in life, needing to let go stuff. Daily I recommited to forgive, each time the memory came with hurt. Then I realized, the forgetting happens when over time the memory loses its power to hurt, then soon, we truly forget.

The unforgiving heart resides in a prison, bound by chains and locks that no one can break but the decision to let it go. Holding on in expectation that the other person or people somehow will suffer is a magic trick that is yet to be accomplished, it is futile and only hurts us.

Forgiveness is for us, ourself, our peace of mind, our healing, our progress, and our growth. It doesn’t mean that the hurt is diminished, we don’t have to pay homage to our pain by holding on to a grudge that no one is giving awards for. Make the decision to unlock your own chains, break the locks on your heart, feelings, emotions, and mind. It doesn’t change the quality of anyone’s life to forgive, but yours.

 

MAH MEKOLLE

 ( Images copied from: iconarchive.com, psychologytoday.com, skyranch.org, barbarajpeters.com)

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