PEARL # 17

NEVER SAY NEVER

How many times have we heard the phrase “never say never”? Too many times. Usually it comes after an event in which we or another person is participating or participating in something they probably thought would never happen.

Looking at this on the positive side, it is always nice for example for someone who said they will never look at another man or woman for love, to suddenly witness them planning a wedding! haha or to see someone who walked away from beloved job or profession due to negative circumstances, come back home again after they said they will never be back. These sorts of examples make us repeat that phrase in admiration, hope and joy in knowing simply that all is never lost. There is  a hope factor attached to that.

Then we come to the meaning of the phrase that actually causes its reference the most, the part where you realize simply, that you should NOT JUDGE for you never know when you will find yourself in the same or similar circumstances. To top it off, you find that you behaved exactly like the person whose actions inspired you to say “I will never (blank) like them” or ” oh no I could never (blank) like he did, or like she did.

The one that seems traumatic to us the most and which I want to pause on, is the meaning of the phrase when after an unpleasant situation, we make these promises to ourselves that we will never do or say (blank ) again. We do it meaning it and knowing in that moment of facing consequences that we really NEVER want to be in that situation again. The problem is when we say it in the heat of the fire just to escape the fire, the tendency is that we may find ourselves back in that position, and start feeling like a disappointment. The best way to do it, is indeed to say it over and over and mean it and strive to keep that decision even after we are out of hot water.

There is nothing wrong in saying NEVER, or “I will never” do or say that again. In fact, some actions really should NEVER be repeated and we should fight to stay the course of a new and more positive behavior. Make sure to have the tools to support that decision and the daily desire and determination to keep it. Resist the temptation for instant gratification which ultimately brings us the negative side of “Never saying Never”

MAH MEKOLLE

(photo courtesy of maciejratajski.com and bubblews.com)

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