Are you feeling overwhelmed by life and all the roles you have to play? Oh my if you are like most people, you have to play the role of a mother, father, sibling, caretaker, guardian, aunt, Step-parent, colleague, Manager, grandchild, and many many other roles. These obligations can sometimes make you feel like you are going to drown, and then you forget the most important person, your role to yourself.
Your first role is to yourself. Take a moment to realize and know that you are doing your best with the tools that you have on hand right now. Your best might not be solving all your problems and meeting the outcomes you desire, but it is your best effort and there is room for improvement, always. As you watch my video, I want you to imagine you are looking in the mirror, or if you have one available, go and look into it. Who do you see looking back? You. You are your first responsibility. Your duty and role to be at your best, expect your best, and give yourself the best chance comes first. You can not effectively and consistently be so much for other people, forgetting to replenish the giver of time, emotions, finances, and much more, if you do not take time out to take care of you.
Know when you need to step back, whether mentally, emotionally, spiritually or other, in order to recharge, regroup, feed your spirit, your heart and mind. Take that time unapologetically but not recklessly, do it for your sanity, you deserve it, you have earned it if you truly have been trying your best. Remember that we are all on a journey towards the end, do not rush yourself into a mental breakdown just because you got too busy, felt too important in the lives of those you love and take care of, that you didn’t pause to honor your role to yourself. If you breakdown, the people you are doing all this for, will end up lacking what you are killing yourself trying to provide. So, if you want to still be there, doing these things, honor yourself, recharge, be your number one champion.
Let me read and hear from you, practice this and tell me what your experience was. Have you learned to take time out for yourself, is it hard, and what are your obstacles?
Remember to subscribe to my Facebook page Mah Mekolle, tweet me @mahmekolle and join me on LinkedIn for more discussions. Thank you for reading and share my work with you friends!
Our thoughts are made up of a lot of things, some of which are intrinsically generated by our desires and deliberate action of thinking in a certain direction. However, these are not the only factors that make up the noise and activity in our head, our mind, and our heart. A huge percentage of our thoughts comes from input we get externally, all our portals and windows into our soul, our mind: the things we see, hear, feel, smell, taste, experience, encounter, and our instinct. We consume an enormous amount of information, data that is random and some, not so random. In essence, the totality of what we think is a salad bowl of more that what we desire to think about, is based largely on input. From that point of view, the true us, is really not reflected in the sampling of our mind. Yet, we are, our thoughts, and I will explain further.
You see, while we may not be the author of every thought in our mind, we have the authority to control how much external data we let in our heads, and how much of that information we allow to dwell and take residence in our head. We have the capacity to program our brains to work for us, to predispose us to a mindset of positive thinking, thus positive outcomes as much as possible, or we can allow the brain to be at the mercy of every passing data and for that data to dwell and morph into whatever interpretation or effect it wants. What we allow to take root in our mind becomes our belief system or has the power to influence what we put out through the same portals: what we say, how we act and react, and the energy we put out. What comes in, goes out.
My short video is intended to be a helpful tool in dealing with one of the ways we can set ourselves up for control of the data that comes in our head and how to react to it. START YOUR DAY RIGHT. A simple step, such as paying attention to your thoughts in the first 20-30 minutes of your day, is powerful in taking ownership of what disposition you want your brain to be in. You can decide for yourself, that although you cannot control the words and actions of others, you will control how your mind receives those experiences, and you will set the tone you want for your day. Enjoy the video, ask me questions and join to further the discussion. Think about these tips as you learn to start your day right:
– Wake up expectant every morning, determined to own your day
– Wake up grateful, there’s always something to be thankful for, like the breath of life
– Dedicate a few minutes of your 24 hours to map out what you desire for your life that day
– You’re your thoughts, for what you think, you speak & create. De-clutter your thoughts, you’re worth more than junk
When we grow chronologically, there is no guarantee that we are also increasing mentally, spiritually, and emotionally. It takes intention, choice, and work to increase our level of understanding. The experiences we go through as night turns to day and day to night, provide the substance for the work. As we navigate the substance of life’s experiences, we fall, rise up, learn, strive harder, work harder and the cycle continues year after year until we die.
Learning is not always a given, we must choose to learn or see the lessons in our experiences. When we miss the lesson, life has a funny way of bringing us back to that learning curve until we get it and make better choices. If we are lucky, it rotates back to the same person so we do better, or it presents with someone different and we do better there; it does not matter who, it matters more what we learn from it.
We will always be challenged, we will always fall as long as we live, but our choice to rise when we fall is totally up to us. How we rise after a fall depends on what we lean on or use as a crutch. We can rise up kicking and screaming with rage, denying the truth, insisting on our righteousness, and many other defense mechanisms, or we can rise up in truth, acceptance, and change, knowing we have more lessons ahead to prepare for.
When we find that it is hard to let go then we need to pause, stop thinking about them, the circumstances, the job, the anger, the child, the bereavement, the divorce, – just STOP thinking externally. START looking inside. All those things that happened are done. Now it’s all about our intentional work towards spiritual growth and healing. It takes practice, it’s scary, and hard to face who we are, what we see about ourselves. Just remember, when we do it right, the result is an amazing self-love, self-respect and love for others. When you have learned to do your work, you won’t let anyone take that away from you, you protect your growth and help others respect it, all with love.
Ask yourself today, when it comes down to choosing, what are your choices? Do you choose what is just, or what is easy to swallow, do you choose to uphold truth in yourself and others, or slide it conveniently under a rug. What do you fear?
There’s peace in standing for something knowing you have done your best.
I call them my League of Extraordinary Sisters. They are from Cameroon, in the motherland of Africa. They have qualities that dare you look away. They have INFLUENCE. They reside in different parts of the globe and they are involved in different professions. Their sphere of influence is as different as the strands of hair on their head, and because of that, neither one is greater than the other, for what one lacks in one department, the other has in abundance, and what she lacks, her fellow Cameroonian sister has. Combined, they have POWER of LEADERSHIP!
On the occasion of the celebration of the International Day of the Woman, I have handpicked, carefully assessed, and now I raise my voice and the voices of my other sisters, to say “well done”, to these fine examples of Leadership, grace, talent and bold Cameroonian women of substance.
They are neither up nor down, they look-not sideways but forever upwards, and that is why their star keeps rising. They are talk show hosts, Publishers, Motivational Speakers, Entrepreneurs, Fashion Designers, Educators, Business Moguls, Pastors, Authors, they have been featured in magazines, on runways, LA Times, NPR Radio, and so much more! They are not looking back to see who’s watching, they are inspiring, breaking the mold, and creating new legacies. We can stand to take a moment to say, well done sisters, daughters, mothers, friends, THE ULTIMATE AFRICAN WOMAN. I have the pleasure of knowing them on different personal levels, and it is no surprise that I see the things I do. Be inspired by these Five Women of Substance from Cameroon.
So, whether from a distance or near, they have each influenced something about me, my journey, my dreams, my hustle; they are my mentors from near and far, and as they rise, a new generation of hungry women rises with them. So in no particular order, but simply as my brain will remember, World, I give you, Cameroonian Women I am proud to know on this weekend ushering the celebration of the International Day of the Woman 2015.
PAMELA ASOBO ANCHANG
She is the Founder and Editor of The Immigrant Magazine TV Hollywood, a multi-media corporation that specializes in the development and distribution of media that focuses on the United States growing and ever-changing ethnic population. In her recent interview with the Los Angeles Times, Pamela is quoted saying “My mission is to uplift,”, (LA Times, 10/19/2014), which she does through her interviews and vibrant magazines, hard-hitting interviews on her new Talk Show Frank Talk, which you can catch on her YouTube Channel, as well as many more endeavors.
November 2nd, 2014, she was interviewed on NPR nationally syndicated Radio station where she told Arun Rath “she founded Immigrant Magazine to provide a bridge to those different communities with stories from a wide range of perspectives” (NPR, 2014). Our eyes are watching, we love what we see African Princes. (oh did I mention she is my older sister? Yep, very proud of her)
She needs no introduction, if you don’t know King by now, then allow me to do you the favor and get you from out of the rock. King Pinyin is the vibrant and dynamic CEO and founder of Ignite Your Life LLC Women’s movement. “She is an author, speaker, success coach, direct sales expert, talk show host and woman of profound faith, who has mentored and inspired many to reach their peak in life through her seminars, coaching sessions, leadership workshops, Mastermind Study Groups, Ignite Your Life Women’s Conference, Platinum Talk conference calls and speaking engagements.” (Kingpinyin.com/about-king). She is a member of the Anthony Robbins Platinum Partnership program in 2012, which is limited to a hundred and fifty serious players worldwide. She has been profiled in Success from Home magazine (2008) and Your Business at Home magazine (2007), (2010), (2011) and Women of Wealth Magazine (special edition 2014). King has been a featured guest on Wisdom Keys with Dr. Mike Murdock airing on The Word Network, Dish network and DirecTV. Her accolades cannot be contained in a paragraph, simply put, she is a visionary, a pacesetter, lives life to the full and a child of Christ. I once asked King 2 years ago when I was starting to feel the fire for my dreams, “what makes you succeed?” and among some of the pearls she shared, she said “You have to be hungry!”. Enough said.
DORINE FOBI TAKUSI
“Her name is simply synonymous with everything successful. She is a very successful Pharmacist who has turned her professional career around to be her own Boss, a young Entrepreneur and Owner of two very thriving Pharmacies in the State of Maryland. Dr Dorine Takusi Fobi who is happily married to the dynamic Mr. Emmaunuel Takusi, the man Cameroonians are now watching with hopes to uplift the Cameroonian Film Industry. Together they have 5 beautiful children and are well grounded in the spirit. Dr. Dorine Fobi-Takusi says she owes her success to none other than The Most High God. She is an Ordained Pastor, a woman of great reverence and most of all very humble, with a heart of Gold.” (misscameroonusa.com, April 2nd, 2014)
“She is a fashion designer from Cameroon, a trendsetter, has appeared and showcased her designs on the runways of Mercedes Benz Fashion week in New York and South Africa. Africa Fashion Week 2012,After realizing the potential that ethical fashion could provide, KibonenǀNY together with some partners formed the Cameroon Fashion Common Initiative Group and instigated the start up of an ethical factory, Made In Camer, which today is an independent, charity based, ec0 and ethical clothing production unit that supports local talent and provides employment to Cameroonians in one of the poorest communities. She has appeared in Forbes Africa Live magazine and I am proud to say I have known her since we were teenagers. I am proud of this young woman and there is no limit to her wings as she flies higher and higher.
ANRETTE NGAFOR AKINYELE
In her interview with Dunia magazine, Anrette described herself and style with one word which is the name of this Fashion Designer force of nature, LIIBER LONDON, yes, LIBERTY, (Dunia PRINT Magazine Issue 11), freedom! She is another Cameroonian ambassador, paving the way and opening doors for more young dreamers to step in those shoes. She is an entrepreneur, Educator as she helps run the legacy, NACHO comprehensive high school college Founded in 1977, Nacho College is the brainchild of pioneering educationist, Albert Cho Ngafor and Cameroon’s first comprehensive institution. (Facebook, Nacho-College) She is a visionary, a free spirit, down to earth girl next door with impeccable taste and sharp wit. From the time I knew Anrette as a young girl, she always had her trademark smile, and a heart of gold. It is no surprise to see her turn every venture she touches into a colorful piece of art and success. Today we salute this trendsetter
When all is said and done, does it really matter how many “likes” we get on Facebook, or how many “shares” we get on our posts, or how many comments our threads attracted? What does it matter, if she didn’t comment when we tagged her, or he didn’t comment after all the times you commented on his posts? Is Facebook and all other forms of social media really the litmus test for real authentic human relationships, or have we just diluted our desire for more, that we settle for likes, and shares, and comments and the occasional “lol” with no expectations of phone calls and I love you?
Think about it, does Facebook chatter and activity really determine your worth? So why are you worried about the lack of it…? Food for thought.
Today in the United States of America, it is Thanksgiving day. All around, turkey has been cooked in all its forms and variations, cranberry sauce, sweet corn, candied yams, green-beans casserole spread out, some corn bread if you are from the south, sweet potato pies and all kinds of stuff. If you are me, you are wishing for the taste of fried turkey, but hey, Thanksgiving is not a tradition I grew up on, I have adopted it in this adopted nation of mine, and I love the idea of giving thanks.
I am in favor of every opportunity to give thanks, to be thankful. It helps dispel or create a distance between the things we don’t have or wish we could change, and a reason to be grateful for what we do have.
Today I am grateful and thankful for LIFE. My life, is a gift: to me, my family, and my community of colleagues and friends.
I am grateful for God in my life, I believe that the things I have been through would have killed me, my soul, and my spirit, had I not had the knowledge of Him, and the relationship which through faith, I continue to believe and thrive, that He watches over me, and protects me.
I am grateful for the family I have been given. My husband, my children, my parents, and my siblings. These are true riches, and I am not unaware just how truly blessed and privileged I am to know and count each and every one alive. I do not take it for granted, for we are here today and gone tomorrow, so for today I am grateful to still have all alive. I am grateful for my extended family, cousins, and may I say I have the best in-laws in the world. For the year 2014 I know that I could not have auditioned a better pick for the most beautiful souls to adopt me as their child and sibling.
I thank God for my friends, my true friends who have dual titles as both blood relatives and non-blood relationships. Some of them friends from long, never forgotten and some I communicate daily. They are my heart friends, they know who they are for they are reading this blog now as they keep up with me no matter where they are or out of touch. Thank you for thinking of me, and praying for me.
As far as life worth living goes, I don’t have the best life, neither do I have the worst life. We have all been through stuff we think we won’t wish on someone else, and we have also been blessed with incredible favor when it comes to other things. Life is the balance. I am grateful for the balance, the middle ground. I can neither boast of an enviable life, neither can I criticize the one I have. It is my perfect balance. This Thanksgiving, I wish you the best, think of your perfect balance, be grateful for the middle ground.
How many people have access to us on a daily basis? We might not think many do, especially when you look at the number of phone calls a day, or how many people you call on a personal level. However, in the new era of social media, changing work environment, and daily routines, there is a huge number of people with access to us.
We can’t control the number of people we get to bypass at work, in the subway, grocery store, school, or bus stop. We sometimes can’t control the friends of friends who view our social profiles, LinkedIn, Facebook, Google+ etc. We can however limit the access people who don’t need to be in our lives have to our personal space. Friends, relatives, acquaintances and neighbors can be and should be evaluated before we grant whatever kind of access to us, as well as how much of us we give.
We all are different and have different values, wants and needs. The one indication for me limiting one’s access to me is the positive or negative effect that person has in my life. Negativity, that is a good place to start. However, if this negativity is also coming from us, we must acknowledge that. Bearing a grudge is never the best answer. We can get closure and resolution in order to be at a quiet distant space
Life is precious, peace is key, even within a storm, peace is possible. The people around us are part of this process. Protect your space and that of the vulnerable ones in our care, those who can’t protect their world, like our kids, minors and seniors
(Image from balboapark.org, mnn.com, gopixpic.com, freepik.com, delta.edu)
How often do you think about why you exist? Too complicated a thought or too simplistic a view? Truth is, whether we think about it consciously or unconsciously, we are in one way or another striving to make sense of our existence. It is hard to experience total peace until we feel a sense of oneness and purpose, familiarity with our core. For everyone, that peace and sense of center is different, no two are the same.
Find your core, the inner essence from which our greatest strength comes, and then use it to fuel this great journey called life.
What have you planned for your family lately? On October 25th 2014, join me and more power house Speakers including but not limited to Dr Nicoline Ambe – our Keynote Speaker and Child Education specialist, Mr Darius Allen – millionaire/entrepreneur, Dr Dubi Sendze and other surprises, as we bring you a holistic approach to raising high achievers! Our children matter, the brothers, nieces, cousins in our care deserve the best. Bring them and yourselves for a few hours only, and empower your minds
Again, need I say more? Your child from the time they are born to university bound, needs all the help to deal with school, high performance in education, strategies for staying focused, direct help and counseling, dealing with peer pressure, bullying, self-esteem issues, training on making good decisions, planning for future careers. We will have a special guest speaker, young adult, sharing his real life experience on the perils of following the wrong crowd and how to bounce back. There is something for parents and children from 5 years old to high school. Come, take advantage, only $20 per person for a valuable experience worth more than that! Bring everyone, space limited. Register today!!!
MAH MEKOLLE- (Life Coach, Motivational Speaker, Poet, Writer)