“Forgive and forget”, so simple, yet complicated
You say you have forgiven, & then you find that forgetting is the harder part?
Makes me wonder, is the “forget” taken too literary?
What if the “forget” in this instance doesn’t mean we should have induced artificial amnesia, but
rather, don’t let it worry you again, don’t let your remembrance of it be a source of pain, or hurt, or anger,
& all other negative feelings it evoked that you can think of
What if forget means rather than stay stuck in the negative consequences of the action on you,
rather find a way to move on with a positive lesson instead, even if that means walking away, but walk away without burden
My favorite thought on the word “forget” is, what if it means having COMPASSION, open your heart to see the possibility of yourself
in the actions of the one or ones that hurt you, died & left you destitute & lonely, broke your trust,
you found out your loved one is wanted for murder, they are involved in drugs, live an alternate lifestyle,
molested your kids, abused you, beat you up when you had no defense, divorced you, stole your passport, revealed all your secrets, etc etc
What if when we say, it is hard to forget, we do so to honor the pain we feel, & justify our anger, & decisions we spurn from there.
Maybe opening our hearts to compassion is the key to truly forgetting without feeling like we are letting ourselves down
I think when we fail to “forget”, we imprison ourselves in needless emotional gymnastics
Having compassion is a far greater & worthy experience, it opens up avenues to heal not just yourself but possibly the author of said pain
We are all human & prone to mishaps, mistakes, stupidity. The compassion you give out, will always come back to you.
It’s not about if they deserve it, didn’t apologize, or it’s the 10th time, it’s not about them, it’s about You
But whatever way you move on, do try to forget, show compassion not just for them, but your future self
And when it is YOU that you have to forgive, show yourself some COMPASSION & forget it too.
MAH N MEKOLLE
if we truly forget